在家生產的經驗-誕生於雙手之中的小女兒
My homebirth experience - (a letter to) my daughter who was born into my own hands

當知道有你要來的那一天，我就不自覺的笑了起來。你爸爸挺驚訝的，我想他以為我一定會抓狂，因為我從來沒有想要有那麼多小孩。他料想不到的是，我竟然是喜滋滋的歡迎你，我想，一定是你的姊姊哥哥太可愛了，讓我想你一定也很可愛....
The day when I knew of your coming, I just couldn't contain my smile. Your Papa was rather bewildered. I think he must have thought I'll be mad, because I never envision having many children. He didn't expect my joyful welcome of you. Looking at your endearing sister and brother, I believe you must be adorable too..

妳漸漸在長大，我與妳爸爸開始認真的思考，我們要以甚麼樣的方式迎接妳的到來呢？
As you grow, your Papa and I started to seriously think, of how to best welcome you into the world.

醫院不是我想去的地方,我要求盡量自然的方式，不要太多醫療與醫藥的介入和干擾，不要刺眼的燈光太冷的冷氣，不要躺著生產，不要催生，不要胎兒監聽器，不要給孩子接種疫苗，出生以後由我自己照顧，不要母嬰隔離。雖然院方勉強答應，可面對的護士的疑惑與不友善和高昂的費用....我在想，我幹嘛要在醫院生產啊？
Hospital is not a place I want to go. I wish to birth as natural as possible - not too many medical/drug interventions, no blinding bright lights nor freezing air-cond, no supine position, induction, electric fetal monitoring, vaccination nor separation of mother and baby. Although hospital reluctantly agreed, there are still doubtful and unfriendly nurses to face, and costly medical expenses... Why would I want to birth in the hospital?

孩子，我真切的渴望在家生產，我想要在一個自己最熟悉與溫馨的環境下，身邊都是我們最親密的人的支持下生產，這可能嗎？我一點都不懷疑自己的能力，可是......真的行嗎？
Dear child, I yearned deeply for a homebirth - to birth in the most warm and cosy environment, surrounded by people we love. Is this possible? I don't have a single doubt for my birthing ability, but... is this really possible?

也許我拋出的疑問被接收到，就在產前數週，我得知有個自己在家生產，並開辦催眠生產課程（HypnoBirthing）的女士－Soo Wai Han,我馬上連絡她說想上她的課。她跟我聊了一陣，了解了我之前的生產狀況，她就說：“你不需要上課，來聊聊就好了！ 我可以跟你分享一些影片。”
Perhaps my needs have been heard by the universe. Just a few weeks before birth, I got to know of a lady who had a homebirth, who is also a HypnoBirthing practitioner - Madam Soo Wai Han. I immediately contacted her for classes. She chatted with me for a while, and after understanding my situation, she said, "you don't need a course, come drop by for a chat. I can share some birthing videos with you."

她那快樂，積極，正面，肯定的嗓音，帶給我的震撼與鼓勵，至今還記得，也非常感激！放下電話，我馬上很肯定而且很興奮的告訴妳的老爸，我決定要在家生產了！！
Her cheerful, positive, affirmative voice brought me great inspiration and encouragement, which I still remember to date, and very much grateful for. Upon putting down the phone, I immediately felt assured and excitedly told your Papa, "I've decided to homebirth!!"

他也許還沒有接受到 Wai Han的“頻率”，張著嘴巴看著我。我給他一個滿臉的陽光笑容，完全肯定的答案。
Perhaps he has yet to received Wai Han's "frequency", he just gaped at me. I gave him a wide sunshiny grin, a reply in affirmation.
～～～～～

感謝妳爸，一向以來對我的信任與支持....^_^
Thankful to your Pa, for his unwavering trust and support for me... ^_^

妳爸爸開始為妳的出生籌備，準備了一個大水桶讓我在水中生產。他也上網看很多資料，關於生產與在家生產的書籍。預產期過了幾天，孩子妳還沒來，而婆婆的生日到了，我們決定到婆婆家給她慶生。當天晚上，開始有不規律的陣痛，第二天早晨依然是一陣陣的收縮，我帶著這感受，跟妳爸爸一起去給婆婆定做窗簾，處理一些雜務，心情是很平靜的。我與我的身體同時工作，我為日常生活工作，而我的身體在為寶寶的出生工作，每一次的陣痛都在為妳的出生做準備，這多麼美妙啊！這不讓我覺得痛苦，反之，我的感受是喜悅，感恩，而且老實說，其實挺享受的，尤其是當我明白，這都是為了妳的到來。
Your Papa began to prepare for your birth, and got ready a big tub for me to labour in the water. He also read a lot of information online, and read materials related to labour and homebirth. The EDD came and went, but you have yet to come. As your Grandma's birthday was approaching, we decided to go to Grandma's house to celebrate for her. That night, I started to have some irregular surges. The next morning, I continued to feel those tightenings, as I went with your Papa to order a curtain for Grandma and ran some errands. I was calm. I worked along with my body - I carried out my daily tasks and my body carried out its birthing task, assisting your birth with every surge... how amazing! The surges didn't cause me sufferings. Instead, all I felt was joy and gratitude. And frankly, it was rather enjoyable, especially when I understand that all these were happening to assist your journey.

下午，幾乎確定了我們無法回到自己的家生產，於是再去買個大水桶，回到婆婆家時候已經是下午5：30分。我們直接到二樓浴室，我調適身心，藉著靜心的，輕柔的給自己洗個澡.....準備迎接妳。妳的大姊陪伴在側，她開心的玩水，她知道媽媽肚子里的小寶寶快出生了，她也曾經目睹妳哥哥的出生，我們也曾一起看過一些溫馨的生產影片，她對即將來臨的片刻並不陌生。漸漸的，子宮收縮的感覺越來越強，我泡在大水盆里，水溫與水壓緩和媽媽的身心，爸爸輕撫著我，必要時擁抱著我，替我按摩以讓我更舒適.....孩子，感謝他.....
In the afternoon, we were almost certain we couldn't get back home in time for your birth. So, we bought another big tub. By the time we reached Grandma's house, it was 5:30pm. We went straight to 2nd floor bathroom. I settled down, in mind and body. Calmly and gently, I gave myself a bath... preparing to welcome you. You elder sister was by my side, happily playing water, knowing that the baby in Mama's belly was about to be born. She has witnessed your brother's birth, and we have watched some heartwarming birth videos together. So, she was familiar with what's about to happen. As time went by, the tightening sensations of the uterus were getting more intense. I immersed in the big tub - the warmth and pressure of the water were very soothing. Papa gently touched me, hugged me when needed, and massaged me to provide for more comfort... Dear child, we thanked him...

姊姊在自己的小水盆，一面玩水，一面很興奮的期待妳的到來。後來浴室里開始感覺到悶熱，爸爸把浴室的門打開。6：10pm, 寶寶妳要出來了，我知道，因為身體有股自然的推力要妳推出來。妳爸爸在我身後扶持著我，我半蹲的姿勢，順應著身體內自然的推力用力，我摸到妳的頭髮，妳的頭，慢慢的滑出來......我欣喜的把妳接著在我手裡 ，妳的身體也滑出來了，哦...我的寶寶..... 我把妳抱起來，抱在懷裡。妳一出生就沒有哭，姊姊興奮的又叫又跳的，爸爸也很開心 ，我們輕輕的撫摸著妳，妳的身體滑滑的，覆蓋著一層的油脂。啊！孩子，這是多麼難忘和美妙的初次相見啊！！突然間，我想，寶寶是男還是女啊？這才“巡視”一下，喔！！是女的！
Your sister was in her own little tub, playing water and eagerly awaiting your arrival. After a while, the bathroom started to get stuffy. So Papa opened the door. 6:10pm... Baby, you were about to come out. I knew, because I felt my body's natural pushing urge. You Papa supported me from the back. Assuming a half-squating position, I went along with my body's natural urge. I could feel your hair, your head, slowly glided out... I joyously received you in my hands... and your body followed. Oh, my Baby... I craddled you in my arms. You didn't cry. Your sister was jumping and shouting excitedly. Papa was also full of joy. We gently touched you. Your body was slippery, covered with a layer of vernix. Ah, my child, what a memorable and beautiful first encounter! Suddenly, I thought, were you a girl or boy? Then only I took a glance. Oh, is a girl!

大約過了10分鐘，我把妳抱起來到床上去，就在我站起來時候，胎盤就從子宮“產”出來了。爸爸準備一個容器放這個曾連接妳我的胎盤，而妳的海洋哥哥呀！他這時候還在房間里睡大覺。妳的爸爸到樓下去告訴婆婆說妳已經出生了，請她連絡附近的護士來給妳剪臍帶。婆婆一聽慌急了！我想還好沒有之前就知會婆婆，否則她的不支持也許會對我們造成干擾。還好，進屋里以後的整個過程都沒有被她發現，她先是煮菜，再來閒閒的在看電視。感謝老天這安排，至少不會讓婆婆受驚嚇或受折磨的時間太長。 ^_^.....
About 10 mins later, I carried you to the bed. Just as I stood up, the placenta was birthed. Papa prepared a container for this placenta that once connected us both. Your brother Ocean was still napping away in the room. Your Papa went downstair to inform Grandma of your birth, and asked her to contact nurses nearby to come for cord clamping. Grandma was freaked out by the news. In hindsight, it was fortunate that she wasn't informed of the labour, else her disapproval could have impeded us. Luckily, she wasn't aware of the whole birthing that took place - she was cooking, then watching tv leisurely. Thank God for this arrangement, at least Grandma didn't suffer from panic attack for too long. ^_^...

我享受著與你的相見與肌膚的接觸，你在我懷裡的舒適與恬靜，沒有外人的干擾。你偶爾張開眼睛尋找我的目光，那一眼，我就發現了你那安穩而有神的眼睛，然後你又繼續賴在我懷裡，你慢慢的張開嘴巴尋找我的乳頭，你的食物。你安穩的情緒讓我有些訝異。
Meanwhile, I was enjoying our acquaintance and skin-to-skin contact. You were serene and contented in my embrace, not disturbed by any stranger. Once a while, you opened your eyes, searching for my gaze. With that look, I discovered you have calm and knowing eyes. Then you continued to snuggle in my arms. Slowly, you opened your mouth, searching for my nipple, your food source. Your calmness surprised me.

孩子，妳知道嗎？當我自己能夠親手迎接妳的到來，我是多麼的欣喜，那種與你的連接從你出生的那一刻就開始建立。我深深的感覺，那親密的連接一直延續到現在。而今你已經快2歲了，偶爾，在我懷裡，或在我安撫你睡覺的當兒，你閉上眼睛，露出甜甜的笑容，安心的睡的樣子，就像你出生時在我懷裡的感覺一樣....
Dear child, do you know... when I welcomed you into my own hands, I was so full of joy. Our bonds began the moment you were born. I deeply felt that, the close bonding continues to date. You are almost 2 now. Often, in my embrace or when I pat you to sleep, the moment when you close your eyes, smiling sweetly, and goes off to sleep contentedly, still reminds me of the moment you were born...

大約在你出生的40分鐘以後，護士到了，她從我手中把你抱過去，你突然的大哭起來，這是你在出生的第一天里第一次也是唯一一次哭。護士幫你剪了臍帶，那一刻，我心裡有些不捨。過後護士再幫我檢查，會陰部沒有撕裂，護士說："eloknya..."
About 40 mins after your birth, the nurse arrived. When she took you from my arms, you wailed. That was the first and only time you cried on your birthing day. When the nurse cut your cord, I felt an unwillingness to let go. After that, the nurse checked me. There was no tearing. The nurse commented, 'eloknya.."

在你第一天的安睡中，你口中自然的偶爾吐出一些痰液，你喝奶能力很好，睡得也很安穩。我們沒有帶你到醫院去，因為選擇不給你接種疫苗。第一天也沒有正式的給妳洗澡，除了我認為清潔劑對初生寶寶太刺激了。雷久南博士也說，寶寶出生時身上的油脂含有豐富營養也有保暖作用，所以不必急著洗澡，擦乾淨即可或用溫水沖一下，不要擦掉皮膚上保護的油脂膜，一兩天後讓嬰兒皮膚自然吸收。
During your sleep on the 1st day, you naturally spitted out some mucus. You fed well and slept soundly. We didn't bring you to the hospital, as we have decided no vaccination for you. We also didn't bathe you thoroughly on the 1st day, because I felt the soap/cleansing agent would be too harsh on newborn. Dr. Lai Chui-Nan also mentioned, newborn's vernix contains wonderful nutrients and has warming effect. So, no rush for bath. A gentle wipe or a simple wash with warm water is sufficient. Do not wipe off the waxlike protective layer on the skin. It'll be absorbed naturally into baby's skin within one or 2 days.

雖然，在妳出生的那段時間以及滿月以內，妳都是情緒最安穩的孩子。可現在可是聲音最大，最古靈精怪的一個。妳的健康也是最好的。不知道與媽媽健康飲食年齡越長有沒有關係。
Even though you have been a very peaceful child at birth and within the 1st month, you are now the most rowdy and cheeky one. Your health is also the strongest. I wonder if it has anything to do with Mama's healthy diet and the advancing age.

— Woon Sing (written in May 2010, birthed in June 08)
http://woonsing.multiply.com/journal/item/173/173
Little daughter River

我之前三次的生產經驗 My previous 3 births:
http://woonsing.multiply.com/journal/item/41/41

建議參考書籍：《还我健康》作者：約翰．羅彬斯 原文作者：J. Robbins 譯者：嚴世芬，潘定凱出版社：琉璃光
Suggested reading: Reclaiming Our Health by John Robbins