Blessed

Being pregnant with my daughter up to the day of her birth was everything I have ever wished for and dreamt to be – positive, peaceful, empowering and fearless. I knew from the very start that I did not want to be robbed by fear and negativity, I just want to remember my pregnancy and the birth of my precious baby only in beautiful and loving ways but the big question remains – how?

As we slowly begin sharing the good news around, a friend discreetly left me a short message asking me to check out a website. The word HypnoBirthing was somewhat familiar as I did come across it briefly when I was googling for ‘painless childbirth’ but I thought nothing much of it. When I checked the website out, I could only go WOW! So many positive and loving birth stories and some of them even brought me to tears. No medical interventions, no fear or doubts; purely a moment of joy owned by mother, father and baby. After looking at some more amazing HypnoBirthing videos at YouTube, we were sold to this whole deal of positive and painless childbirth. We proceeded to sign up for Wai Han’s class and the rest was beautiful history in the making.

Learning to make an informed choice

HypnoBirthing has not only helped us realized our dream of giving our baby the gentlest birth possible, hubby and I have learnt so much from Wai Han about the true ‘science’ or should I say miracle of carrying and birthing our baby gently just as nature has intended. I was particularly amazed by how our body and baby work hand in hand from the moment of conception right up to the day of birth. So instead of consuming our minds with fear and what if’s uncertainties, Wai Han has taught us to trust in our bodies and to divert our attention to bond and marvel at the beauty of my little growing miracle instead. I diligently practice the birth breathing and positive affirmation whenever I can. I also read and watch positive birth stories and videos to equip myself with as much knowledge as possible so I will not be easily misled under vulnerable situations. Indeed the feeling of positivity has conditioned me to cherish and enjoy every single moment of my pregnancy and I was literally glowing and bursting with positive energy.

Photo taken 3 days before baby’s arrival. I was still very high on energy and in this case, looking really happy and satisfied from a hearty Japanese meal!
 
 
Birth plan discussion with the doctor (before we fired him)

Upon completing our classes, hubby and I were both extremely empowered with our newfound confidence and knowledge. I for one could not wait to share with my doctor about how much I look forward to have my baby and proceeded to discuss about our gentle and intervention-free birth plan with him when I was on my 32nd week. Shockingly, the doctor mocked me about my request of not wanting to be induced because according to him it is ‘dangerous to keep the baby in the womb for too long’ and told me to keep my options open to having an epidural because the pain will be unbearable. He said, “IMAGINE the pain you get from food poisoning, it is just like that only many times more painful than that!” I wanted to tell him to try IMAGINE my foot up his tush instead. Needless to say, that was the last appointment we had with that ‘food poisoned’ doctor and proceeded to hunt for another care provider who will understand as well as believe the possibility of gentle loving births. I was quite upset and extremely worried that no doctors will take me in but thankfully, upon Wai Han’s recommendation, we managed to secure an appointment with Dr. Choong Kuo Hsiang who is fully supportive of un-medicated natural births.

A breath of fresh birthing air

Before meeting Dr. Choong, we did not realized how cold and distant our previous doctor was as he made no effort in knowing us or even try to listen to our needs. I even had to ask the nurse to help me up from the bed after every check-up because the doctor couldn’t care less. Not only did Dr. Choong welcome us openly, he took the time to listen to our needs as parents, not patients and attended patiently to all our questions and concerns. We presented him with our birth plan and he merely asked, “This is from Wai Han? Then I’ve seen it before.” Without even a second glance, Dr. Choong gave our birth plan a big chop of approval. Our hearts lightened with relief. At least we know we can have a peace of mind at giving our baby a gentle birth.

The B(irthing)-Day

On 30th May precisely 6am, I woke up to attend to nature’s call. I was glad to have taken the day off from work as I was looking forward to snuggle back under the warm sheets to continue my slumber. Just as I sat on the bed, I suddenly felt warm fluid gushing out and I instinctively jumped up and threw a towel that was near me on the floor and stood over it. I think I stood there for a good few seconds to register the fact that our baby is finally ready to meet us at 39th weeks. And as gently as I could, I whispered to my still snoozing hubby that my water bagbroke. He leaped up and asked, “Are you sure?” I could only grin and smile eagerly. We went on to do the final run through on our checklist – camera, snacks, mummy and baby’s bag, HypnoBirthing book, Rainbow CD and laptop loaded with back to back episodes of GLEE season 2.

Feeling more excited than anything, I couldn’t really tell if my surges were strong enough to check myself in to the labour ward, but we decided to check in anyway as the morning traffic was about to build up. The journey was smooth and upon arriving at the hospital, we had the car parked and walked into the ward calmly. A head nurse attended to us and asked us if we have a scheduled delivery and I told her no but my water bag broke. She went "Hah?!" glanced down on the floor (to see if i wet their floor?) and quickly guided me to a room to prepare before collecting some details from me to process some paperwork. When she saw the name of my doctor she asked me if I’ve done HypnoBirthing and I told her yes. The nurse then smiled and said, “Ah… you will do fine then!” Her assurance definitely boosts my confidence even more.

8.30am - 1cm

enjoying foodI have to admit I was somewhat disappointed when the nurse did the first VE and told me that I was only 1cm dilated. My mind started drifting to the uncertainties but quickly reminded by hubby of what Wai Han has educated us – babies will not ‘drown’ and my amniotic fluid will replenish itself if I continue to keep myself well hydrated. I went on eating, drinking and walking about to work the surges.

2pm – 3cm

Why am I not surprise. I was still up and about working on the surges and by that time I have finished watching the whole of GLEE season 2 on my laptop while hubby sat at one corner reading to refresh his memory of a birthing partner’s role. My mother dropped by to visit and was quite surprise to see me still walking around in my PJs instead of being strapped down with all kinds of monitoring system. Despite sensing her worries, I could also see that she was somewhat amazed at how relaxed we both were and I guess that also gave her some positive assurance before she left.

6pm – 5cm

12 hours and we are half way there. Hubby and I began to predict that our baby will only make her grand entrance the following day just to tease her mum and dad that she prefers to be a May baby instead of June like both her parents!

12am – 8cm

riding a surgeI couldn’t remember much from this point onwards. I was dozing in and out from naps and waking up to breath away the strengthening surges. I tried timing the closeness of each surge to gauge my baby's progress but decided to just go with the flow. I reminded myself to relax my jaw and breathe with each waves, and as hubby and I peaceful and calmly attend to each surge we were suddenly jolted by someone’s shouting “PUSH! PUSHHH! PUSHHHHH!!!!” We stared at each other in shock and a little amused. A doctor next room was literally shouting her lungs out to a poor labouring mother to push! It went on for more than 30 minutes and I felt really awful for the mother and her baby to be pressured and shouted at this way. I then looked around me to further embrace the peace and serenity Dr. Choong has granted us.

4am – Anytime now

The news came like music to my ears. I have lost track of time and the surges were becoming increasingly overwhelming. “The moment when you feel like giving up most is the moment that you are going to meet you baby really soon.” I can literally hear Wai Han’s voice echoing in my head. Hubby was my only source of focus and encouragement at that point and I would be lying if I said giving up wasn’t in my mind. Then, a nurse came in to inform us that she was instructed by the doctor to strap me onto the EFM belt as I’ve been in labour for some time and they need to keep a close watch on the baby’s condition. It wasn’t what I wanted but trusted that Dr. Choong knows best as he has come this far with us without even suggesting any unnecessary intervention.

After the nurses strapped me up to what seemed like a wrestling belt, I told hubby that I don’t think lying on my back was helping with the progress. I proceeded to turn over on all fours, kneeling with arms hugging onto a big soft pillow against the bed post. With the new position, I could literally feel my baby moving down! I should have done this earlier! Moments later, a nurse came in again and told us to buzz her if I feel the baby crowning and I turned to her and said, “The baby IS crowning.” I still recalled how the nurse jumped for a bit and quickly confirmed excitedly before running off to get the doctor.

31st May 5.08am - The birth of our precious baby

1st meetI was so focused in embracing the most significant moment in my life that i did not even realized that behind me, my doctor and his nurses were all prepped and ready for my baby's arrival. They stood by silently and let hubby and I to do our job. With just 3 strong breathes, my baby’s head emerged. Hubby excitedly went back and forth to describe that our girl has lots of hair and also chubby cheeks. And with another 2 more breaths plus one big happy smile, my daughter Caylee slid out onto the doctor’s waiting hands. I turned around to see her still peacefully sleeping and as the doctor placed her on my bare chest, she opened her eyes and looked at me curiously. I sang her a happy birthday song while I massaged the vernix into her skin and within minutes she latched on to my nipple and began suckling. After her cord stopped pulsating, Dr. Choong handed hubby a pair of scissors to do the honors of cutting it. It was a bitter sweet sight as this little one has been attached to me all these while and was readily breathing on her own.

The only part of our birthing plan which I have failed at was the birthing of my placenta. Maybe I was too absorbed with my baby that I have lost all urge to push again. So, the only time I actually asked for the doctor’s help was to birth my placenta. Nevertheless, I couldn't have asked for a more empowering and beautiful birthing experience. Despite not having an episiotomy, I had a very minor internal tear which needed only very few stitches.Within an hour after the birth of my placenta, I was walking about and even took a quick shower to freshen up before moving out of the labour ward. I was bursting with energy and literally on birth high! A nurse came in and wanted me to lie still on the bed because it is the hospital protocol that mothers must be wheeled out on their beds! I refused and managed to negotiate with them to wheel me out on a wheelchair instead. The head nurse even came to my room to ensure that I was not feeling faint and commented on my 'amazing strength and positiveness'. I was the talk of the ward for being the first mom who was wheeled out on a wheelchair and for being so mobile and alert after giving birth!

Dr. Choong who stood by us for 23 hours to help us achieve a gentle hospital birth for our baby.
 
 
 
 
 
The next challenge

Having everything all worked out well so far, we somehow knew the next challenge was to protect our new baby from being taken away for unnecessary poking and prodding by the paediatrician which was not on our list of approval. The doctor whom was recommended by Dr. Choong was coincidentally away and the only doctor left on duty that day was a ‘standard procedure’ paediatrician. When he noticed Caylee’s sole being a little blue, he told us that she will need to be warmed up in the nursery under some lights just for a couple of hours. Hubby and I were extremely reluctant to have them take Caylee away and proceeded to ask Dr. C more questions to try to understand the whole procedure better, we are afterall first time and at that moment, very anxious parents. Dr. C not only failed to understand that, he impatiently snapped at us for being so difficult and said that it’s for the best of our baby and it will take 2 hours most. I could see that hubby was ready to tell him off big time, but we could only give him the benefit of doubt and quickly wished for our baby be returned to us.

Mission: Mummy to the rescue

Two hours passed and still no sign of my Caylee. Hubby has gone home to grab a quick shower and I was alone in the cold room. I buzzed for the nurse and told her to bring my baby back to me and half an hour later she told me that my baby was moved to NICU for further monitoring for her inconsistent oxygen levels. I cursed so hard in my heart and demanded that she take me to see my baby immediately. When I arrived at the NICU I was shocked to see my baby being stuck with so many monitoring devices and asked them why the hell for. Dr. C then came and explained to me something about her oxygen levels being inconsistent and pointed at some numbers on the screen that it should be of a certain range but the numbers were still going up and down. I couldn’t and didn’t bother to listen further because my baby has been breathing fine on her own and I did not want her first day out from my womb to be spent on a cold plastic cot attached to those awful machines.

“Just to be sure, we would like to keep her NICU for a night just for further monitoring,” suggested Dr. C. “No.” I replied sternly. “Those numbers, I don’t really know what they do, but I do know my baby needs me and I need to nurse her, so please discharge her from NICU now.”

Caylee-1 day oldDr. C told me to just give the monitoring a little more time and that I can nurse her in the other room while my baby is still strapped to the wires. He promised me that if the nursing goes well, my baby will be relieved from NICU. Once I held Caylee to my chest, she latched on like a pro and suckled away. The numbers which was going up and down suddenly stopped changing and maintained at a consistent value. I was suddenly reminded of a touching article I read online about an Australian mother who revived her own baby that was pronounced dead when she held her skin to skin. I held my baby closely assuring her that mummy will not leave her alone ever again and quickly called for the nurse and Dr. C to witness the numbers on the screen and without further fuss they released us.

Happy Beginnings

3 days old: smiling in her sleepNo one said that being parents is an easy job but we’re glad to have started out with our new responsibility the informed way. I remembered Wai Han also taught us that babies do not have ‘wants’ and only have ‘needs’, so we should give our all to ensure our baby constantly feels secure and safe. Caylee smiles a lot in her sleep and hardly cries at all and even when she does she is very easily calmed. My confinement lady told me that she had never come across such calm and contented newborn in her past 7 years of working experience.I knew it wasn’t by chance and HypnoBirthing had definitely contributed to it. My positive and vibrant birthing experience has inspired many including my own mother. I am proud to have changed the much feared and misunderstood outlook of giving birth to a positive and empowering experience that we could only experience uniquely with each baby that we will have.

Once again, I would like to extend a heart-warming thank you to Wai Han and Dr. Choong for helping us realize a positive empowering birth of our baby girl.

P/S: Thanks to Kai Xin, we are glad to have found another paediatrician for our baby too! Dr. Koe who is very gentle and supportive towards breastfeeding always ensures my baby is latched to me before she gets her jabs so my baby will be relaxed and not experience any pain.

— Joanne Kok (June 11)