I was happy with my first birth, I thought it was quick and almost painless until I read about HypnoBirthing. Only then I realised my first birth was so ‘artificial’. It was almost painless because I opted for epidural and it was quick because I was induced and my baby was delivered with vacuum assistance. My baby was literally being forced and pulled out from my womb; so to speak! I was only thinking about myself when I made my birthing choices with my first girl. I wanted a quick and painless birth for myself; never did I realise and consider the baby’s feeling.

MY DREAMS & HOPES FOR THE BIRTH

在家生產的經驗-誕生於雙手之中的小女兒
My homebirth experience - (a letter to) my daughter who was born into my own hands

當知道有你要來的那一天，我就不自覺的笑了起來。你爸爸挺驚訝的，我想他以為我一定會抓狂，因為我從來沒有想要有那麼多小孩。他料想不到的是，我竟然是喜滋滋的歡迎你，我想，一定是你的姊姊哥哥太可愛了，讓我想你一定也很可愛....

Architect-ing my life

I’ve always planned things ahead before I want to do something. It depends on the occasions; a day, a week, a month, a year, 5-years or even 30 years in advance. I feel safe and secure when I know, or at least imagine what’s going to happen with my life and the people around me, and come up with different advanced solutions if things does not work out as I’ve designed it to be.

My EDD is on 22nd this month.

The story starts on 11th Dec, evening. I began to feel a slight pain, but I did not have any worry as the pain was just like a menstrual cramp. As usual, I was sitting on my gym ball busy surfing the Internet, listening to music... but on the safe side, I decided to pack the bag for the hospital stay. (It was half packed for quite some time.)

My daughter, Ayra Safiyya, was 13 days early.

4 days before, I had changed gynaes after much thinking/praying/talking/pondering/etc. It was a totally crazy move, and although a couple of people ‘congratulated’ me for it, many didn’t understand why I did such a thing…

However, I do not regret this move one tiny bit. After going through a pretty trying and detached labor and birth for my first child, I was more than determined to have as much of a natural birth as I could this time around.

I birthed on 1 August. I think the baby 'dengar cakap' (compliant)... because I kept telling him to pop out on 1 August, hehehe....as it is easier for me to arrange my leave, hahaha....

I had the birth show on 30 July, but at that time I had no surges at all! I went for a check up that day and I told the nurse. They asked me why I was still waiting and not going to the hospital. I explained that I had no pain/surge. so the nurses there asked me to go to the hospital as soon as surges started.

I was 3 days past EDD. I visited the doctor in the morning and was told I was only 1cm dilated. A bit disappointed but decided to let baby set her own birth date. I asked doctor, “What would help me to get into labour sooner?” He told me a story about how in the past, when Africans were near EDD, they would make love, and let the husbands ejaculate inside to induce labour. I kept asking more questions and shared with him that I read about that in my HypnoBirthing book. Husband was so shy there.

This was our first child and we would like to have a natural and positive experience in birthing. Therefore we choose HypnoBirthing to prepare for a gentle birth. My wife's first surge was experienced on 15 March very early morning. We started listening to the Rainbow CD to reduce the intensity of the surges. The surge came every 20 minutes at first. By morning, the surges were getting more intense. My wife couldn't eat solid food by then, mostly just drank chocolate drink and lots of water.

At the age of 36, I am considered as 'high risk mother". As there are so many disadvantages of caesarean birth, I was hoping for natural birth. As such, I take the chance to walk a lot while working and doing house work to prepare my body.